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[myriadeclipse]

Hugo Inbox

Home of Mockingbird and the voice in his head

Mockingbird

Please forgive me for missing your message. I'll be right with you.

The Other Me

He isn't that sorry.

Mockingbird

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[myriadeclipse]

why? Because Lycaon is no longer a full tilt bastard? You sell yourself short.

Anyone else who needs my attention can wait until later. I'm coming over.

[mauks]

he's still a bastard a horribly likable bastard
but [ Molly frowns, the words falling between his fingers before he can properly grasp them. ] nevermind

promise i'll be there when you arrive

[myriadeclipse]

Is that what you think of him? That he's 'just likable'?

I would hope so since you're the one making the demands around here.

[mauks]

gods no
i adore him and his beautiful face
and i'm a little jealous of him

just get over here already

[myriadeclipse]

I am going as fast as I physically can.

[ It doesn't really take him much longer to reach the door and pull out his key. Asking why Molly would be jealous was something he would wait to do in person. For his birthday, he was not dressed extravagantly, a high collar shirt under a dress shirt and slacks.

The door opening and closing was the only sound he made coming in. It was still another moment before he came in further, removing his shoes at the door and pocketing the key. There. Mission accomplished. He made it from where he was to Molly relatively quickly and without fanfare. ]

Molly?

[mauks]

[ frankly he would rather not be asked at all considering everything happening today isn't supposed to be about him but rather Hugo, he'll just do was he has always done in such cases and deflect until he can't deflect anymore. ]

Over here.

[ Molly calls from the bedroom where he had most definitely not been pacing mere moments before, why would he be pacing? it isn't like there is some level of nerves when it comes to giving someone you care a shit load about a gift for a day neither of you have ever celebrated (let alone spoken about) once in your long friendship? haha, that's just ridiculous! he's standing, dressed in a lazy pair of slacks and unbuttoned loose shirt, in front of the bed, arms crossed and tail flicking about anxiously, eyes staring at the small dark purple box.

this is ridiculous. he's being ridiculous.

with something muttered in a unknown language, Molly picks the box up from off his bed, turning on bare heels to face Hugo as he wanders over. nerves be damned, just give him the present already. ]

Here. [ the box itself is nice the sharp corners of it lined with a thin line of gold, and inside? inside sitting comfortably on a what looks like velvet cloth is what looks like a small intricate lapel pin. ]

[myriadeclipse]

[ Hugo comes to the bedroom, stopping in the doorway to peer at the tiefling inside. He's done it. Laying eyes on him deems the request fulfilled, but he doesn't do something as heartless as turn around and leave. The thought may have been floating around in his mind, but he didn't commit.

The box is shoved at him, catching only the bare end of the pacing before he was looking down at the mysterious package. A hand is placed under the box, holding it close. Hugo takes his time opening it, pulling the top away so that he look at the velvet cloth inside and what sat on top of it. ]

This is very fancy.

[ What can he do but purr and make it sound like any other day? Hugo was stressed. Molly apparently was also stressed. The only way to make it less horrific was to try and make light of it before Hugo was inevitably going to steer it into the ground.

The box top was placed under the main piece, using his free hand to touch the gold gently and tilt the red gem toward the light. ]

I don't think I can recall the last time you gave me an honest gift that wasn't a drink.

[mauks]

[ he's stressed because he hasn't put this much thought into a gift before, because he hasn't wanted to give something permanent and real to someone before, because he knows and understands how much the day does not sit well with Hugo. he's stressed because all that time to falling in together only to part and then meet again is coming back to bite him in the ass, the gravity of how deeply he feels a smothering weight on his shoulders.

but Mollymauk, much like Hugo, does his best to brush all that off; his stance lax and casual despite the anxious twitch of his tail. ]

You know what they say about birds and shiny things. [ his tail twitches again and Molly exhales, coiling it around his leg in an effort to stop it from betraying him further. ] Felt fitting for you in particular.

[ but that isn't the whole reason for his nerves. isn't why his fingers twitch in desperate need for something to do as they hang idly at his sides. the rest of the reason sits in the gem Hugo tilts toward the light, the gem that is as red as Mollymauk's eyes and doesn't hold the same prosperities that a ruby should. ]

I know a guy in the Underground, he owes me a few favours and I decided to cash them in all at once. [ the more the other inspects the gem the more obvious the specks of ice blue inside the gem become, spreading throughout the inside of the gem almost like veins. ] Got him to crystalize some of my blood. Can't say I understand the process, it took a couple of tries to get what I wanted but I think it came out nicely.

[ inhale, exhale. ]

You can have a piece of me with you always, even when I'm not around. [ god that sounds fucking corny. ]

[myriadeclipse]

[ What the gem was gave him pause. Hugo had been inspecting it, trying to figure out by look up until that point. If a phantom thief couldn't identify what he was looking at, did he really deserve to take up such a mantle? Hearing the truth calmed that sense down. It wasn't something he could have known from sight, but it remained a lovely sight all the same.

Hugo slowly swipes his thumb over the crystallized blood, letting the realization of such a gift wash over him. This was a real and true piece of Mollymauk. A vampire was being gifted with blood, crystallized and made to last. What an amusing thing it was at face value, but the more he thought about it, where it might sit when it wore it, and everything encompassing it, his fingers drew away, the weight of the red blood gem occurring to him.

And then Mollymauk says as much. ]

This is a very thoughtful gift. You would gift a child of the night with your lifeblood. It's designed perfect to rest over the heart, as if it intended to be the blood in my veins. The warmth that passes through my heart.

[ Molly never had to worry about corny lines. Hugo was full of them. The top to the box came back up and closed over the gem, hiding it away once more. They both we're anxious, facing a situation neither were used to opening themselves up to. ]

I will cherish it, Mollymauk. Thank you for the birthday gift. This is the first time we're facing something so meaningful with intent. This gesture means ... a lot to me.

[mauks]

[ it's that corny line that allows Molly to release the breath he wasn't aware he had been holding, tension draining from his shoulders as a fond laugh brushes past his lips. some of his nervousness melts away with the sound, tension bleeding from his limbs as he dares one step, two, three─ until he's a breath away from the other's personal space. ]

You mean a lot to me. [ opening up has always been a tricky thing for Molly to do. instinct has him pulling outlandish stories from the depths to cloak his truths with, spinning tales that sound true enough not to be doubted but fake enough to raise eyebrows. were it anyone else he would do just that without hesitation or care, but Hugo is different. Hugo has always been different.

something weak, something foolish urges him to bare the most vulnerable parts of himself. urges him to tell it true. ] And I was a giant ass coming in and out of your life like I did. [ too much of a coward to stay but unable to fully let go. ] You deserved better than that, you still do.

[myriadeclipse]

[ The rise and fall of his shoulders come naturally, heaving a strained laugh at the admittance. It would be a lie to say it didn't hurt. It would be even worse to act like every time it happened wasn't another needle in his heart. Mollymauk was just a symptom of the real cause. Hugo could never blame that pain of Molly. He was already aware far before Molly walked into his life that he wasn't desirable. ]

No, I could never think that of you.

[ He couldn't control the fear that took him at the most inane times. What he could control was how he handled it and who he directed it at. Despite his need to run from his troubles, Mollymauk still proved to be a valuable friend. Or maybe Hugo was a masochist. He really hasn't ruled that possibility out. ]

I do not know what I 'deserve'.

[ Molly was close, but his attention fell to the closed box in his hand. He's been told a lot throughout his life what he deserved, but he decided that it was unnecessary to dwell on. What he did wasn't for himself, so it didn't matter what he deserved. Hugo was choosing his way forward on his own.

Yet, this also felt like a choice. ]

You had your own troubles. I would assume you still do. This is not a stage I stand on alone.

[mauks]

You should.

[ reaching out, fingers closing around Hugo's right arm, Mollymauk tugs the man toward him into a hug. one arm wrapped around his shoulders while the other rests against the top of Hugo's head. ]

But I'm glad you don't.

[ he had been one of the first to look at him and not see some lavender skinned devil, one of the first to see past it all and see Mollymauk for who he really was. he deserved better than to fall victim to Molly's paranoia, to wounds caused by other hands who promised Molly loved and affection and a family all of his own. there is no undoing the hurt already done, but he can change the way he goes forward. take a different path than the cold, isolated road he spent so many years trudging down. ]

I know you deserved a better friend than I was. I want to be that friend, I want to make sure you know I love you and will always be standing beside you even when everything is coming down beside us.

[ despite being the only people in the apartment, Molly's voice drops to a near whisper. as if speaking too loud would expose him to the wider world outside. ]

Anything beyond that is up to you. But I'm done letting my problems chase off the best thing I've ever had.

[myriadeclipse]

[ Hugo froze after being pulled in against Molly. It took a bit more time for the vampire to sink in against him, resting his head against Molly's shoulder and bringing his arms up to wrap around his middle. If he could work toward forgiving Lycaon, why would he ever hold this against Molly? ]

You're being ridiculous. [ He sighed against him, wrapping his arms tighter. ] I held you at a distance, like I held everything else. We were a pair, both running away from something we couldn't confide in the other with.

[ His head lifts, leaning it against the side of Molly's while being careful of his horns. ]

You sell yourself so short.

[ Hugo whispered, even if he felt like laughing. Molly said something so easily that Hugo had never heard anyone say to him before. An awful thing that made his heart heavy and his throat tight. How could he deserve better when Molly was trying so hard? He couldn't imagine the same tiefling doing anything like this the last time they met before Kaisou.

It had been such a short time, but they had both knocked down walls and became new people. ]

My mother didn't want me, and my father to mold me into a monster fitting to be his heir. And then. On the worst night of my life, Lycaon also left me in a room full of corpses.

If I hadn't met you, I would not still be standing here to listen to this. You are every bit as important to me as I am to you. No matter how many times you ran away, or how I would keep you at a distance, I was never 'evil' in your eyes. That was everything to me.

[mauks]

[ what is that saying? birds of a feather? it breaks Molly's heart hearing Hugo speak, each word ringing painfully familiar in ways he has refused to think about in years. his tail is quick to coil around Hugo's leg, his grip on the blonde growing just that little bit tighter. ]

I'd tear them apart for making you feel like that. [ he pulls back just a little to bring both of his hands up to the sides of Hugo's face, gently guiding the other's gaze to him. ] You're not evil. You're not whatever the waste of space that you call a father wanted to mold you into either.

[ the pads of his thumbs gently brush against Hugo's pale cheeks, his gaze almost impossibly soft. ]

I've known evil in this life and the last. But you, Marigold? You've never looked at me like something you could use. You were the first to see the me behind all these devilishly good looks and charming personality. [ he smiles, but it doesn't last very long. past encounters with other people all but chasing away. ] You've got a good heart, you're brilliant, you're fun, and most importantly you brought me back from a miserable brink.

I'll never think you evil and I won't let you ever believe that you are.

[ Molly shifts pressing his lips to Hugo's forehead in a kiss, gentle and certain, then pulling away to rest his forehead against his instead. ]

No more running, then? No more holding each other at a distance? 'Cause, if I'm being honest, I don't wanna keep going without you.

[myriadeclipse]

[ The laugh Hugo gives is faint, but he doesn't look away. It was laughable to him. He could say he knew. Hugo was hardly ever what other people wanted him to be. He was bad at following rules set by others. The sureness in Mollymauk's voice was refreshing in a way he couldn't pin. When Lycaon said things like this, Hugo could only believe it after time sitting with the thought. When Molly said it, he was more inclined to believe it.

Hugo's hands raise to rest on Molly's shoulders, closing his eyes with the gentle kiss to his forehead. A soft breath was released, resting in against him. ]

It doesn't matter to me who thinks I am what. I've had quite a long time of getting used to that. You will not be without me, and that is a fact I find more important. For me to know you will be here when I seek you out, and for you to know I will always wish to hold you like this, is one of the best outcomes of this day that I could ask for.

[ Between Molly and Lycaon, how was he supposed to hate this day? ]

We found each other because we were meant to. All that is left is to see to these new vows.

[mauks]

[ just hearing those words, feeling the warm press of their foreheads resting against each other, causes Molly to smile. he laughs to himself, all those nonsensical worries of losing him dissipating like smoke. he had been so stupidly worried he'd be thrown away, discarded for someone else. utterly idiotic of him, yes, but he can't claim he had been thinking rationally at the time. ]

I'm happy to hear that. It'd always been my goal to give something good to focus on today, something you can think back on fondly.

[ or, at the very least, distract him enough that the day simply flew by without any of them paying it any heed. what was his offered 'afterwards' if not just that? one big distraction. ]

We'll have to see to them later seeing we've got a get together to attend later. [ a gentle tease, easy flirtation that all screams his previous nervousness has settled. ] Besides wouldn't be fair to start having fun without Snowdrop.

[myriadeclipse]

[ Hugo could only give a faint breath that seemed to fall between a laugh and a scoff. Ah yes, the selfish snow wolf. It wouldn't be good to start without him. He could already see the twitch in his tail and the annoyed flick of his ears. Lycaon had been working so long on this day that it would be wrong to dash his hard work. It would be equally wrong to not tell on the puppy as well. ]

You have so much consideration for a dog that had no consideration for my need to be able to walk today. He's so lucky that I can regenerate.

[ He wouldn't let him go without a kiss of his own placed against the corner of his lips before they were parted and Hugo was lifting his present to look at the box once more. What an interesting life he leads. A blood gift without even having to thrall him or dangle eternity like a carrot on a stick. It stirred something frightening in him that he would not give voice to. ]

I don't wish to be dramatic. [ He paused, realizing the irony of the statement, and moved on. ] I don't care about my parents or family anymore. I've moved forward from those days. What any of them wished for me was never my concern.

I want you [ He emphasizes, ] to understand why I am acting this way. It's not the lack of love from my parents. [ It sort of is, though. ] It's the spirit of why he's doing this. The display of people caring for me as if he isn't well aware of what has happened to everyone else. To himself.

He wants me to accept these 'soft, happy feelings' of having something, and I reject that.

[mauks]

[ he laughs, eye wide and eyebrows raised. ]

He does strike me as the type to be utterly insatiable.

[ the corner of his lips tingle from the kiss, as though those lips had all but branded the place they had met his flesh. not enough and too much, more kindle to the fire burning in his chest born of things he doesn't dare to acknowledge nor name.

Molly exhales an almost wistful noise, shifting on his heels, and sits himself on the end of of his bed arms stretch out behind him to keep himself propped up. it is almost comical how entangled he has found himself. after years of running, of causal hook ups and one night stands, of pretending every pirouette around becoming attached didn't wrap the threads around him tighter─ he is hopelessly, irrevocably, bound. ]

I'd like to think I know you well enough to know there's a damn good reason for you acting the way you do, love.

[ he tilts his head then pats the spot beside him. ]

What do you want then?

[myriadeclipse]

[ There was an answer he could give immediately that he doesn't. Instead, he walks over, lowering himself down to sit on the bed with Molly. The box with his present is set off to the side, Hugo settling his gaze of the opposite wall. ]

In the long run? Nothing I haven't already taken back for myself. I decide my life for myself, and nothing is controlling or puppeting me toward a goal. No one is in danger anymore because of me.

[ Hugo's head turned so that he could look at Molly, contemplating what the answer was in the short term. Was there anything he wanted immediately? ]

As for right now? I'm not sure. Any plans or thoughts I originally had have been thoroughly uprooted. Thanatos is willing to wait, as he values life as much as death. I'm sure he already knew this would be the outcome.

[ If there were truly people who cared about him, he couldn't just vanish into the aether. With the sorts of presents he's already recieved that day, it was becoming harder and harder to consider his orignal plan from before everyone came together.

But if he couldn't think of a true answer.]

What of you? What do you want now that you've also made a choice?

[mauks]

This isn't about me.

[ expect, in more ways that Mollymauk would like to admit, that it is. he would rather focus on Hugo's wants and make certain each and every one of them are fulfilled. it's his birthday after all and what kind of friend would he be if he let them fall to the wayside. but he knows the man won't be satisfied with that answer and there is a promise of honesty hanging heavy between them.

Molly turns his gaze to the closest wall, his tail lashing against the bed. ]

If I'm to be honest, I'm not entirely sure myself. [ a beat. ] There's some things I'm sure of. I know I want you, Lycaon, and Caleb in whatever ways you'll have me. In your bed or at your side, doesn't matter to me as long as I have you close. But the rest? I don't know, have fun and live my life to the fullest?

[ it's then his gaze moves back to Hugo, the easy smile finding his lips. ]

I'm not good at thinking about the long run, things always get complicated and messy.

[myriadeclipse]

[ It was good that Molly didn't stick with that answer, or else Hugo was prepared to remind him why he asked. Actually, maybe it was a terrible thing that Molly was so forthcoming. Either way, Hugo rested his full attention on the other as he spoke, noting the words and where his gaze ventured to.

It made sense to him that neither of them really had an answer to this. He was quite sure they both didn't expect a need for such things. Did either of them expect to live long enough to need such things as 'future plans'? Now, there were those that wanted them to have those sorts of lives. To live with love and connection. They had to live in this world. ]

I want your messy.

[ Hugo's quiet voice practically purred with an unintentional seduction. The kind that made it feel like his very breath was on another's ear, even when he was far away. His hand was curled under his chin, his other hand cupping his elbow. It was the best way to keep his hands to himself. ]

I don't care if it's cruel, or it makes sense. If it's long, short or just wishes. I don't want a perfect answer, I just wanted the one that was yours to give.

[ Hugo huffed, his cupid's bow lips curving into a smile. ]

I don't think I could imagine you doing anything other than that. Caleb also seemed to be very attached to you, but I think "whatever way you'll have me" is a bit weak, yes? No one roots for the person in the performance who can't stay what they want.

[mauks]

[ Molly's never considered himself the guy of person who would live to see through 'future plans', no he was certain he'd die young in some back alley with little more than rats to witness his passing─ the fact he made it this far is a miracle in of itself. the fact he has the opportunity to think long term, as complicated and messy as it'd undoubtedly be, is some form of divine blessing.

he inhales, sharp, gaze dropping from Hugo's face to his hands then back up to the man's lips. his thoughts are in danger of derailing if he keeps that up. ]

Love, you can have my messy anytime anyplace.

[ for a man who so often takes his pleasures where he can, he doesn't often actually consider his own wants. he considered how they feel, what their wants are, while pushing his own aside to be neglected and forgotten. just as long as they stay in his life, just as long as he doesn't lose that all important connection. that's all he needs, right?

Molly lets his upper body fall down onto the bed, tail coiling around his ankle in an effort to keep it from lashing about and giving him away, folding his hands behind his head as a makeshift cushion. ]

It's not that I can't say what I want, I can and I have. I'd take you to bed in a heartbeat, Snowdrop too. That goes for Caleb as well, but I suppose I'm worried wanting so much at once might be selfish. [ he laughs. ] What am I saying? It is selfish as hell.

[myriadeclipse]

[ His head turned, watching Molly drop backward. For the time being, he continued to keep his hands to himself, shuffling them to his lap instead. ]

You see physical intimacy as 'asking a lot', but I don't think so. It's not something you connect your heart to. Enjoying it isn't the same as wanting that particular person. That's why I felt it was more important when you said you didn't care what place you had beside us.

[ Hugo turns his body enough so that he could rest his chin in his hand that was propped up on his knee. ]

That one felt like you would even endure fear and rejection for that. And... yes, this may be my day and that may involve asking about my desires and my wants, but I'm not quiet about those.

We continued to meet over and over again because I wanted to find you. Wasn't that also selfish after being left so many times? Would seeing you smile like nothing happened not be a selfish, bizarre desire? I've been selfishly taking parts of you over the years. Wouldn't a sane man have stopped and let you go after the first few times?

[mauks]

That's because I would.

[ he focuses on the line of Hugo's jaw where it meets his hand, the admittance spoken as casually as one does the weather. it's not something he feels the need to hide, even if it sound utterly insane. who would endure all that? not a normal, well-adjusted person that's for sure. but there is nothing normal or well-adjusted about Mollymauk. ]

He would have tossed me aside immediately, many have and I don't blame them for it for a second. [ it never bothered him, not once, because no one ever latched onto his heart as tightly as Hugo did. ] But there we were time after time after time after time. You never took anything from me that wasn't freely given.

But that's where the problem lies, isn't it? It's more than just physical intimacy thing, there are hearts involved. [ he exhales, pulling a hand from behind his head to drag down his face. ] I care about you, about Lycaon, and bloody Caleb. I want to be apart of your happiness, bask in it and see it thrive, but there are two hearts that are still mysteries to me.

And the last thing I want is to make a mess of another person's heart.

[myriadeclipse]

[ He fought, both with his desire and with his own body. When he could focus on Molly's words, it was easier to keep his manners up. He starts to talk about hearts, and Hugo's will crumbles. The vampire turns, pulling himself further up the bed so he could lower himself down close to where Molly was laying. On his side, Hugo leveled his eyes up at Mollymauk, continuing to listen to him. ]

If you care so much about those hearts, then nurture them and your relationships. [ A pause. ] I don't much care about hearts or what happens to them. A heart that is easily broken should not be resting that sort of innocence around me.

That being said. Caleb comes from a past you care deeply about. I do wish you all the luck in the world trying to grow it in this life. You deserve what you truly wish for.

[ The action of reaching out and putting his hand to Molly's chin was short, a there and gone motion, Hugo turning to look elsewhere after that moment of tenderness. ]

Either way, I am in no hurry. We will reach our hard-fought result eventually. Until then, I will keep you as close as you allow me to.