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[myriadeclipse]

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Home of Mockingbird and the voice in his head

Mockingbird

Please forgive me for missing your message. I'll be right with you.

The Other Me

He isn't that sorry.

Mockingbird

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[myriadeclipse]

Something like that.

[ Of course, he intended to explain it. He was leaned in so far, staring up the way to the red eye. Even if it was irritating, it was also fascinating. Lycaon prided himself on becoming passable, if not perfect, at most skills. It was just this one area where he exercised caution, almost as if repelled. It was maddening.

Lycaon was his partner. As far as this life had ever known, Mockingbird was always only them. This life was forcing him to fly this banner alone, and it was the needle that was the hardest to shake off. It worked better as a pair, and he couldn't... He wouldn't ... ]

My issue doesn't matter.

[ Hugo descends back with his feet flat on the floor, leaning out of Lycaon's space, yet still holding that card to his chest as if it were the thing truly important here. ]

We both carved out our lives the way we wish to live them. While it is not the same as it used to be, we make it fit. [ His hand spread over the card, huffing softly. ]

Be as mad at him as you wish. I'm sure he's also torturing himself in new and fun ways, too.

[paraselenic]

[Their eyes remained locked for what felt like forever.

Maddening was a good word for it. It was like a fever dream, floating around him only to remind that he was the one who took the step away. Of course he was cautious. Why should he be the one to remind Hugo that he was the traitor?]

It does matter. [And yet he chases it anyway.]

Hugo, I did not leave Mockingbird out of disdain for what we had. I never regretted its creation or the the things we did. [His hand reaches out, claws dragging lightly against that symbol on the envelope.]

I will always be fond of it, logic be damned. I simply do not know what it thinks of me, or where I fit now.

[His nails fall off that envelope, closing his eye. His heart wrenched when making that card--it was the first attempt he tried, too. He'd bought so many envelopes in case he had to redo the design, and yet this was the first take. Complicated, indeed.]

He did not seem all that apologetic when I called him out on it.

[myriadeclipse]

Perhaps that is something you must find.

[ Hugo motioned meaninglessly with his freehand. He would love to tell Lycaon where he fit and wave a magic wand to fix it all (he tried. it doesn't work for this purpose). ]

You left out of disdain for me. [ It was even. Calm. He wasn't going to fault Lycaon for it. He also had a deep disdain for himself. Only Hell knows why Molly was so fond of him. Truly insane, that one had to be. And yet he looked down when Lycaon reached out, looking back up the length of that arm. ]

I believe Mockingbird would say that it only had one perfect partner. Such facts never change. Mockingbird expands and contracts as time bids it to, but no matter what, its objective is the same. If there are those who suffer due to the greed of others, theirs are the wings of justice, meeting out what society ignores.

[ He was quiet a short, contemplative moment. ]

Molly has Vivian's birthday. Lia has started showing ice profiency. Life-, no. Fate is trying to urge Mockingbird forward, yet I stand alone.

[ The finger against the card taps against it as his thoughts drift back to Lycaon's own little tug. ] But this has been most important to me.

[ ... He was pretty choked up about Lia, but he has not let go of the card. They were pretty neck and neck. ]

[paraselenic]

[How beautiful it'd be if that magic wand were to exist. Lycaon would have been tempted to smooth out the rift that left them both so broken. He hums in thought, that hand going up to his lips.

Why did he lack the confidence in this one area of his life? He could stare down the heavens with one eye, manmade legs and arguably come out on top. Why was this so...]

I did. And yet, I wanted to preserve the Mockingbird that shone so brightly in front of me at the same time.

[To hear Hugo call him the perfect partner cracks the ice he surrounded his heart in. It's fragmented and brittle and falls away instead of melting. More pieces fall off at hearing of Molly's birthday and Lia's skills. It's heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. Perhaps Mockingbird was taking steps forward, and all he could do was watch from behind. Perhaps it had outgrown him...

And yet despite all of this, Hugo was still waiting. Alone.]

It feels quite selfish of me to ask this on your birthday, but were I to...

[Hesitancy, yet again. But something someone told him rings in his head in that moment: Maybe who you were can help you protect the people you care about today. Maybe there was some truth to that.]

Were I to take that step, I would want to do this right. Would Mockingbird accept that selfish request?

[myriadeclipse]

[ Hugo expected this to end in failure. He had enough memory to know Lycaon didn't take his position back in the past. It was fine, Lycaon had a family and duty that was important to him at that time. In this like, they were both different. Lycaon lacked that strong family and employment backing, while Hugo lacked Vivian and clarity. They were not who they used to be. The things that stopped them in the past no longer barred their way.

Mockingbird was important to him. It was more important than his own life. What they did was too important to put it on ego or some false sense of pride. Lycaon was rusty. He was sure to need practice and time to get used to things again, but this transition period was perfect for that.

His breath caught, his attention focusing on Lycaon once more, his fingers curling against the calling card. It took another moment for him to huff a laugh, turning his head away to play it off cool, as if they both couldn't hear how much faster his heart started beating. ]

I believe Mockingbird would find it in their heart to accept that request, despite the day it is. Perhaps it could even function as an extra gift.

[ Hugo let that smile slide out. It was only the two of them. If he feared Lycaon at a moment like this, then trying to trust him was pointless. Yes, Lycaon took this moment away once. There were grounds to be apprehensive, but where would he be, after all of his growling and bluster, if he stepped back again? ]

Of course, someone so out of practice would have to get back into the swing of the craft. Luckily for you, Mockingbird seems to be open to aiding new recruits at this time. You love learning new skills. Pulling old ones from the back of your proverbial closet should be easy.

[paraselenic]

[Lycaon expected a rejection.

He had never felt so vulnerable in his life. In the palpable silence, he could feel his own heart quivering with what Hugo would answer with. It was true--Victoria Housekeeping was no more than a memory. Its goal had always been to be the mayor's guardians, something Kaisou had no need for. Even if its members had met once more, there was no way Lycaon in good conscience could recruit them in the same way he did in New Eridu.

But Mockingbird had withstood both lifetimes, and its importance to both of them had as well. It now stood before him as an opened door, a metaphorical second chance. A sliver of an opening, but one that could be pulled open nonetheless.

His breath releases at Hugo's answer, letting out possibly years worth of regret and guilt with it. Not quite the same as their idealistic roots, but something new. Possibly something stronger. Those ears pick up on Hugo's heartbeat, and how it matched his own in speed and vigor.]

So my gift to you was quite adequate, then. [His smile widens, fangs peeking through as his eye drifts to that card.] I'm glad.

[One thing was for certain, though. He would not be making that same mistake again. Hugo had given him this olive branch, and he wouldn't waste it.]

You need not worry about my skill. I will use Mockingbird's lull in activity to reacquaint myself with the craft as well as realign my work balance.

[The Vogue shouldn't be too affected, and he did tell Zulius he expected to use more PTO in the future. Though he never thought it would be used for this.

Feeling his courage return, he moves closer to Hugo to dip his head down and press his snout to the corner of the man's lips.]

Perhaps we could revisit our code. Keep the same principles, but solidify it...together.

[myriadeclipse]

[ The calling card was finally set aside, gently placed on the ledge of the bay window. For now, he could bear to part with it, so his arms to reach up and rest up around Lycaon's shoulders so he could pull himself in when he felt the other dip down.

This was better than the mounting anxiety his heart was throwing at him. He had no reason to quiet the fears. They weren't wrong to exist. It could end in failure, and he could be abandoned again. Being possessed always added a layer of complexity to his life and could very well end badly. Hugo won't deny the fears and apprehension that's made a home in his chest. He will continue to get up until he's met the end of the story in his own way. ]

You weren't really questioning the adequacy of your gift, were you?

[ Instead of snorting or huffing, Hugo turned his head, placing a kiss against the snout that was so graciously placed in kissing distance. ]

I know you will. You aren't the sort to settle for average. As for the code, I agree... but. You don't need to revisit it for my sake, if that is why.

[ Did he still feel strongly about killing those that stood for the evils in this world? Yes. Would he ever let that go? No. What he could do instead was understand that in some instances it wasn't his hand that needed to be the executioner.

As the host of Thanatos, every one of those despicable people would cross his path eventually. He would have his day to bring them to the final judge of their tattered souls. ]

... But I also wouldn't be opposed to a revision or two. I suppose.

[paraselenic]

[It felt too picturesque to stand there in the light of the moon, lips pressed together in a chaste moment of affection. A mask in itself, as they both shoved down their anxieties to give themselves these few precious seconds.

He knew what sort of risk this was for the two of them. Hugo was putting his trust in his hands, and in turn Lycaon had laid his reputation on the table. Their worlds could crumble, slipping through their fingers like sand like it had in the past.

But it wouldn't be like the past, would it? Lycaon was older and wiser now. He had accepted that there were just some parts of Hugo that he couldn't force into the mold he unfairly created for him. The same way Hugo couldn't try to bend Lycaon's iron will until it twisted. They would both have to be flexible in their world views to meet each other.]

I would not have gone this far for your birthday to come up short in the actual gift. Though I did not expect I would be part of it. [A cherry on top is an understatement.]

[His eye closes in thought, forehead resting against Hugo's as he mulls over his words.]

No, it is not that. When Mockingbird was established and we formed our code, it was done selfishly. We both wanted something and simply complied the other's request. Looking back, it is no wonder cracks showed.

[His hands reach up to Hugo's shoulders, trailing them down his sides and to his waist, finding their home there to keep him close.]

So. I propose we restructure what we have into a strong foundation. We will trust our partner, and we will tell our partner our entire plan. That would be a good start, no?

[His tail wraps around Hugo's legs, white fur brushing softly against them.]

[myriadeclipse]

I like it better this way.

[ He admitted quietly. If Lycaon was going to torture him all birthday long, then successfully talking him into what Hugo truly wanted was the least fate at large could have done for him. The rest of this was an extra treat. Getting to stand there in the moonlight with their hands and attention only on each other gave him more comfort than he would put words to. ]

We were children following the ideals that resulted in acceptance. It was natural.

[ Hugo thought of everything that went wrong often, although less so now than the time before he came to Kaisou. Dark thoughts that circled his mind came and went like the ebb and flow of the tide. The new proposition was like a break in the clouds, Hugo closing his eyes and quirking his lips into a weak smile. ]

Do the dangerous plans scare you?

[ Hugo purred at Lycaon, nuzzling his face up against Lycaon's starting with slow, trailing kisses up his snout. ]

I will do my best. Sometimes the plans fall into place as things are proceeding. That's why we have the codes. Yet, I concede. I will tell you my plans.

[paraselenic]

Your tone suggests I was what you truly wanted this whole time.

[There's a certain leap in his stomach at the thought. A giddiness he can't really describe as he feels each kiss Hugo plants along his snout and feeling just how soft the vampire's skin was. A familiar softness by now, but one he never stops being marveled by. Hugo didn't settle for small prizes--he was always aiming for something bigger.

The idea that the end goal had been him once the foundation was set swells his confidence. The dark clouds that hung over what he feared Hugo thought of him were clearing, and the view of the moon from that cleared sky was a going to be a sight.

Lycaon's snout moves down against that touch, finding a home at the base of Hugo's neck. The man's question makes him snort indignantly.]

Not in the slightest. On the contrary, I am more worried for anyone in our way.

[Lycaon had always had courage in spades, to the point of it being almost infuriating. But now he had the life experience to back up those thoughts. His skills needed to be refined, honed to fit the Mockingbird of today, but that was a temporary hurdle.

He soaks in Hugo's scent, mouthing his teeth against that pale skin. Yes, he's a bit impatient now.]

And if that happens, I'll do my best to trust you in the moment.

[His head raises up, reining in his more...feral instincts to tilt his head and press his lips right to Hugo's, as if that was sealing the contract right there. It wasn't the first time they'd done it, but it made it no less meaningless.]

[myriadeclipse]

There may be truth to that.

[ It did make Hugo wonder if Lycaon liked knowing that. The confession that started everything was Lycaon's in the first place. It was just as well it was, too. Hugo would have taken too long, played too many games, pushed himself in and out playing the games he always did. Everything was a performance for him.

Lycaon wasn't like that. If not for his confidence and genuine stubbornness, all of this would have been quite different. It made Hugo feel like he might be himself again one day. Maybe not the idealistic dreamer, looking to higher heights in his desire for a stage suited to him. A new stage and new actors called for a new vision, but all of that would be decided later.

Hugo breathed a laugh, tilting his head away, so the blond strands fell away to give the impatient wolf the pale expanse of his shoulder and up his neck. The feeling of teeth against his skin made him shiver. Part of his rational mind wanted to warn that they were going to be at a party that day, but he threw away that caution. There would be nothing better on a day like this than to receive something he could remember throughout the day when the thoughts started to creep in to tell him he shouldn't have been born. ]

The rest we can decide later. [ He said with a seductive purr. ] I'm sure it's a saying somewhere not to bring your work into the bedroom. [ They were not in the bedroom. ]

[paraselenic]

[The way his ears twitch and the thumping of his tail against the bay window ledge was all the clue Hugo needed. Hugo had needed the confession more of the two, and Lycaon was the one that needed to say it. It was unplanned, rushed, unfinished, inelegant and raw, unlike anything Lycaon had ever played himself up to be. That blunt honesty was the spark.

He wants to see Hugo return to who he was. A man who's laugh could ring with clarity through the halls of a high end hotel, scattering coins like breadcrumbs as they made their escape through a window. A man who would flash a smile that could rival the moonlight after their leap, looking to Lycaon to lead their escape from there. Time had changed them, certainly, but not everything.

Lycaon's teeth trail down his neck once more, ears perked to listen for his breathing. the man's pulse quickens as his teeth press against where neck meets shoulder, nosing like an impatient pup. Red marks from where his fangs clamped down were already starting to show, and Lycaon wanted nothing more than to add to that collection.

He did still have to think of the party. He had places to call, orders to pick up... But that was in the evening--plenty of time to show Hugo that people wanted him. And him most of all.

Ears flutter at that purr, and the word 'bedroom' sticks out among them. That's right...the bedroom was downstairs. Reaching to take the calling card off the bay windowsill, he holds it up to Hugo's lips as if asking him to hold onto it before scooping him into his arms to carry.]

It is of no issue. I fully intend to reduce your vocabulary to just my name, either way.

[Metal heels click as he starts to walk towards the stairs.]

Has Robin been programmed to monitor your heart rate? [He needs to know. Can't have that Bangboo getting worried for Hugo's safety.]